Stasis Clock

"Begin Again" that song I mentioned. You know. There are clues everywhere. You could spend time staring at a mountain and learn something universal. Not that I am recommending finding your local mountain and stare at for hours until the sun sets. No. What I am really saying there could be a time when you are walking, hiking or driving, then you glance at your local mountain and realize something. This mountain, in this moment, has something that is spiritual in nature, and it is a testament to something eternal. A epiphany for your life occurs. One tear falling down your face for the saving grace. The darkness is held back for a few more seconds. For right now, I remember that this life is good. Hopefully I can find more light in another moment. Life shares simple concepts. They are composed together. Combined and refined. They branch out into different materials. Truly reality is ever consistently common. The beautiful waterfalls echo with the rocks. The birds chirp while th...

Ah, I love learning. Especially when my learning is directed by need or momentum. This makes the progress more rewarding, and very meaningful. My new emphasis of beginnings is a gift that is always there. Consistent, dependable and simple. I haven't coded yet. Because last night I began listening to a book, and then I continued listening today. You may have heard of it. "The Pragmatic Programmer: Your journey to mastery, 20th Anniversary Edition" by David Thomas and by Andrew Hunt. Great book. "The Pragmatic Programmer" book is what I need right now in my software journey. As my emotion and mental attitudes align up with flow, I need more technical mastery to go with that flow, and this book seems to fit the bill. I went to purchase the book yesterday, but then I saw Amazon letting me know I already have the audio version. Huh. Didn't remember buying it. Then I opened the audio book and began listening. Ah right. I do remember listening to this book three ye...

To be authentic is never easy. To be vulnerable from and after humble beginnings. Yet your growth is personal, lean and rewarding. I have been vulnerable. I have taken time to think. I do not regret stumbling. Life is no season. Its just there. The wind gently pulling on your face. The sun rising every morning. I have made the stupidest cliche mistakes. I even saw dozens of movies showcasing, and I swore, I would never make those mistakes. Yet I did. And I might even still. Is cliche a stereotype? If I make the stupid mistake of being stupid, does that make me one dimensional? Bound to a class? No way, man. Not even close. I am growing person. Pushing the boundaries. Clipping the old so I may become something better. I embraced the symbol of the phoenix because I reinvent. Burn, revive and change. The magenta tiger is my fiery blood pumping across the ethereal side. Temporary boost biding my study of the chase. It will stop at nothing for the hunt. Through the jungle, after the prey an...

I started working on variance. This time it didn't feel like I was trying to rewrite the world. My own mindscape happily accepted the new input. Emotions, experiences and logic all mash together. This giant web that only is whispered about and faintly heard. Until the web snags and is real.  When humans go through rough time, sandpaper, rocks and crystal mineral digging in, there may be some growth. When injury happens, it may be exerted effort to greater health. Or the bones may be smashed and struck limp. Not all are permanent future scars. Trauma has a habit of painting every experience. The greatest thing I found is to rely on both prayer and to keep pushing my hand against the thin membrane. The coating that dulls the eyes. Cataracts milk white. Getting the evening tide is not elegant, nor am I faking. Cultivating a new regime takes time. It takes patience. Blatant desire to be true to what the everlasting song is. An everlasting well where joy never ends. My hope in refinemen...

I got home from the blood lab. Got some test drawn in preparation for my next appointment. Returned home. Fell asleep. Now that I woke up. Its a little into the evening. Before my nap, I thought about what I wrote. Discussing with my mother about what I am learning. This helps me. It broadens my thinking and deepens everything. I got up. Booted my server and then turned on my PC. Again. I ssh into my server. I opened up my markdown project. From my discussion earlier, where my mom just sat and listen to me pretty much give a small lecture, bless her golden heart, I realized I needed to go smaller. Yes. I thought I broke my project modules down. Still. I was thinking too big. Thankfully in the world of symbols less is more. Build small potent symbols and then reuse them. A lot of times. In different contexts, situations and configurations. Assemble a certain combination create a snapshot. Then that becomes a new building block. Reuse the module heavily and in conjunction with the previo...

When working though life, you find yourself as you are. More self-awareness leads to both change and acceptance. There are constraints I must work through. They are both gravity and resistance. Some might say gravity is resistance. And it is, but I see it as a natural force. Giving possibility or signal in a noisy place. And man. I do have resistance. A while ago, I wrote about writing in a file, hit save and then open a new file and do the same problem in a different way. Through all the stress through sickness, I lost track of that. And now when my mind about fried me last night, I eventually was reminded of this. The movie "Robots" that starred Robin Williams did not miss the point about need. When there is a need, there is a place to fill with something new. Or innovate. When I found my mind going crazy because I was stuck in the chair with nerve pain and swelling combined with months of low consistency in schedule, I prayed. My mother prayed. My Dad wrapped his arms arou...