Stasis Clock

Start over. I wrote this post once, and my writing turned into a rant. My gut has been hurting for several days now, and I am losing patience with the irritation. Over the months I have tuned my diet. I have eliminated ice creams and shake. Reduced to minimal salt intake. I started removing the cheese off at restaurants and fast foods. Went to mostly home cook meals and simple take out. Now I am two months without any sort of junk food. Purely home cooked meals and store bought items. Never in my life has my health been better. Despite the high weight levels and health problems. The foundations are sturdy, and they are only getting reliable. I try not to rant here. I may express my frustrations and trauma, but I want the writing to remind me of hope. There are many good things to be grateful for. My rants live in my journal, and even there I try to not to go too crazy. I save my most negative voice when I cry and let it all out. There are different avenues to process events, and I am a...

Let the machine talk. Obtain feedback from people. Ok. I have been thinking a lot. No surprise there. As a coder, my preference style changes the game. All the rules made for the standard programmer needs translation. To move closer to my dream, the rules are played differently. I can do any sort of software development I am interested in. Sometimes that means a little investigative work to match technical manifesto with emotional preference. I have been cleaning up house for the last four to five months. Every iteration or revision to my techniques, cleans up the major highways to allow the water to flow over. Energy springing into action. More of the muck and debris are swept away. The more it all flows, the finer the process and the greater confidence I have in my own actions. When I learned about being proactive with the problem space, with me creating my own map of the environment, this initiated a rapid inner-dialogue of why creating problem space works. Writing is about creating...

That is all it took. Ten minutes of experimenting with JSON. I was surprised that my first guess brought a solution to this struggle I am having. By creating a sketch, or quick structure within JSON, I feel better. My mind started separating information that was previously clogged. I can see the divide between parsing the markdown document and then how to structure that data to be easily accessed and read for the other part of my software. Even how I can easily update or change the contents of the markdown through the JSON format. Then finally translating that JSON file back into the markdown format. My mind was struggling from removing ambiguity to my thought process. Honestly I had to fight an undercurrent of self-doubt. This is not the first time I encountered this mental hang up. Now with immediate feedback that changing the problem space works I will continue to shape and redefine the problem.

"Begin Again" that song I mentioned. You know. There are clues everywhere. You could spend time staring at a mountain and learn something universal. Not that I am recommending finding your local mountain and stare at for hours until the sun sets. No. What I am really saying there could be a time when you are walking, hiking or driving, then you glance at your local mountain and realize something. This mountain, in this moment, has something that is spiritual in nature, and it is a testament to something eternal. A epiphany for your life occurs. One tear falling down your face for the saving grace. The darkness is held back for a few more seconds. For right now, I remember that this life is good. Hopefully I can find more light in another moment. Life shares simple concepts. They are composed together. Combined and refined. They branch out into different materials. Truly reality is ever consistently common. The beautiful waterfalls echo with the rocks. The birds chirp while th...

Ah, I love learning. Especially when my learning is directed by need or momentum. This makes the progress more rewarding, and very meaningful. My new emphasis of beginnings is a gift that is always there. Consistent, dependable and simple. I haven't coded yet. Because last night I began listening to a book, and then I continued listening today. You may have heard of it. "The Pragmatic Programmer: Your journey to mastery, 20th Anniversary Edition" by David Thomas and by Andrew Hunt. Great book. "The Pragmatic Programmer" book is what I need right now in my software journey. As my emotion and mental attitudes align up with flow, I need more technical mastery to go with that flow, and this book seems to fit the bill. I went to purchase the book yesterday, but then I saw Amazon letting me know I already have the audio version. Huh. Didn't remember buying it. Then I opened the audio book and began listening. Ah right. I do remember listening to this book three ye...

To be authentic is never easy. To be vulnerable from and after humble beginnings. Yet your growth is personal, lean and rewarding. I have been vulnerable. I have taken time to think. I do not regret stumbling. Life is no season. Its just there. The wind gently pulling on your face. The sun rising every morning. I have made the stupidest cliche mistakes. I even saw dozens of movies showcasing, and I swore, I would never make those mistakes. Yet I did. And I might even still. Is cliche a stereotype? If I make the stupid mistake of being stupid, does that make me one dimensional? Bound to a class? No way, man. Not even close. I am growing person. Pushing the boundaries. Clipping the old so I may become something better. I embraced the symbol of the phoenix because I reinvent. Burn, revive and change. The magenta tiger is my fiery blood pumping across the ethereal side. Temporary boost biding my study of the chase. It will stop at nothing for the hunt. Through the jungle, after the prey an...