Stasis Clock

I am learning. My love for myself maturing. It is not self-absorption, or arrogance. It's just love. How can you love someone more unless you love yourself more? When the world is a mirror, where one cannot not improve without the other, loving yourself is not selfish. How can you love yourself more if you do not love others? It is one in the same. Anger deteriorates. Bitterness holds back. And I am still struggling with these things. Yet with compassion, I am on the road to extend care for all the connections that we share. Indeed. Love is not about a crystal case with sparkling clothes. It is simply a way of life. That is sweet as our summer gradually turns and rolls into fall. Some falls arrive in September. Some are much different. I am not scared of the fall. Not this year. As my life is changing. I wanted to write the spark of realization. Actualization. A couple weeks ago, I explored Rust Tokio. And learned a little about what the Rust language provides, and what Tokio compl...

Aka helix. Around late April, I watch some recordings of DNA strands. Honestly, I couldn't tell if it was an animation or a microscopic image. It just was extremely cool. The power of repeating patterns. Language. Bindings. Forming the double helix. These patterns lead to our DNA strands. Our proteins. Our cells and the rest spanned over the timeline to create biology. Life. Thinking. Breathing. Beings. So amazing that DNA is so close to binary and digital computers. So close to language. So close to words. I reflected on this over and over and over for weeks. Until it went into the background of my mind as an active buzz that picks up anytime sounds prompt its file to open up and I think about it for a little bit. Weeks move. Weeks turn. About the time when I was writing about negative space, it was a background noise. I felt strongly that negative space was important. However. I didn't know why. It had no application I could use in any of my activities. It did serve in one wa...

Formation. Formation. Formation. Formation. Formation. Layers. Layers. Layers. Layers. Layers. Layers. Layers. -------> ------> -----> ---> --> -> > Cycles a + b, ababababababab :D D: -------> In out <------ Out in Cycles again. People. Social. Heard, seen, music. Time. Its all a mess. Breaaathe. The doubt held back. Health first. Mind as its companion. Mental, physical, journey. Journey within the same geographic location. I will. May I? Figure things. Fight. Rewind time. Its May 2026. First week. Stress latched on. I crumbled. I rejected. I fought as breathing choked off. I knew I was done. Week 1, week 3, week 4. Week 1: Checked out. Crying. Suffering. As eight months of bad months, took its toll. Week 2: I began again. Thought experiments. Imagined writing my thoughts through characters. Surprising clarity. Possible solution? Week 3: Upcoming stress, snapped me. I cried. I fell apart. Week 4: I finally started reading again. I relaxed for two weeks. Non s...

I am a social person. No. Not in the traditional in sense. I phrased it that way because I am a person who likes people. I believe in people in a wide view. There is evil in this world. I have met evil people from every sample of my time. I also have known good people but have missed them because my world was painted with pain. I believe in connection. When its clear, when your pain has been sorted, it feels good. I feel good. I know that there is always darkness. My anger will never go away. I just have a different relationship with people. They may be cruel. They may be spiteful. One day I may see these people in their full spectrum. Wholesome yet imperfect. Today can be lived without perfection. The anger has cleared to the point on a blue sunny day where there is snow out. The sun is bright, the blues deep high above. Silent, clear and beautiful. When an empathetic person meets Synesthesia, Adhd, Autism, OCD. I have a sound sense, I have time constantly in my brain, where time is m...

Rewrite The reflection of a mirror. Do you think language is still? Of words moving through space. As light bends in gravitational waves. Language is of itself. If you are fiery your name shall be fire. If you seek hills every movement directed at the incline. A mirror is meant to refract. It is meant to create endless dimensions. All encoded by its language. All centered by the starting seed. Repeating itself. To redefine one self is to be consumed by one thing. Until all of it is rewritten. Think of your favorite chile. Favorite ice cream. They all stem from a core. A aspect of you. A filling of lango for your tango. Right. I know what I am. Open the operating tempo. A root will seek dark places. Water. Its pinch through dirt and willow movements defined by its core lango. Language for it may be french, italin with ferro, and all sorts of places. A world of fire. Red jewels. Hazy smoke. A world of ice. Sapphire, frosted cakes and jagged edges. These mono worlds are everywhere. What? ...

Yeah. I know. This is a big one. Because I experienced the butt end of elitism all my life. The people who try to be the ones denoting everything. Twisting facts. Limiting truth. Omitting details. Just to control.   Control the narrative. We are social creatures, with social needs. Acceptance mainly. Love defienelty, and I have seen the abuse of these needs to the advantage of others. Mainly those who repeat what was done to them. Embracing the darkness and distrusting goodness and love. Bitter. Its bitter because of the consquences of not realizing of whom you are controlling. Of who you are affecting, and the soul within you screaming. This is wrong. They were wrong. Now I am doing this as well.  I am bad as well. I can’t be the only one. Everyone is corrupt. Everyone lies. Everyone is fake. I am justifying the wrong I embraced. So you continue thinking its alright. If it is all wrong, I might as well take control of others. If men cannot be trusted then I might as well be c...