I can enjoy today

Coding is going well.

My iPad is being used a lot. As I am just writing. Writing different choices and seeing what sort of experience they make. I use a text editor. No code compile. No bug checks.

Just the symbols and my sound world living.

I write statements like they are writing themselves. Like I am speaking sentences. Genealogy is very invigorating. For me, its like going back in time, and with code, I am creating an interactive world. These statements are the basis which all these little interactions may be designed. I am so excited.

Complete control of how I want to do genealogy and family history.

I have never been into the pedigree charts or lifeless data. I wanted dimension. Feeling. Experience. And now that I can code, I am going to bring that here. Bring it all to the present. Today.

Not to say that the old methodology is useless. Quite the opposite. The software I am making and creating is about adding more. Like marble cake. A little sugar. A little swirl. More to it than just fluff. Not just chocolate, or yellow. A swirling storm. Momentum.

I have let myself go. My intuition knows what it wants. So I have let my whole being follow the course.

I received answers to my prayers. Greater insight. More understanding. Then comprehension, and finally application. Because I have always needed personal techniques so the void of emotions can be filled. And those techniques are with me. One to one flow, and 1:1 ratio. An accurate reflection.

When I deal with my usual insomnia, I follow these techniques, and I code in my head. Oh man it has been long since I relaxed while resting.

No joke. 

I felt my blood vessels stop constricting, my gut open up and my head releasing tension. My breathing is deep and invigorating. So much life to live.

There is not trapped door. No life curse. 

I had feared I was going to get old and still be sick. Not today, certainly. Never was and is the design of my life purpose. Life is hard. My health problems are slowly improving, but the spiritual misery. The emotional cascade. That is expanding and growing strong. I feel a final separation between my daily misery and the emotional steps as I work in my hobbies. My purpose. What I drive into and labor for. Like a cloak that I put on each morning.

I may still be sick. I may have trauma like flash bangs. Always bringing me back, and I may struggle for the rest of my life. Yet I have something to wear. A purpose behind meaning. I yearn to reach out with code and help. 

Human connection is very important. We are tender and vulnerable people. Suffering then suffocating.

By doing something to improve different situations, I can help. Family history is a window to the past.

Family history rocks. As I find the songs calling upon weaved functions to search for records, inspect old governments, determine economic crisis, and predict family movements. Finding understanding for all the experiences my family line has gone through. As much as I can gather from the records. And infer the data by connecting my life with theirs. Connecting with mundane history. Bringing the common facts as if it were real and heavy right now. Writing the code for them. And for me. I believe that the eternities means much more than today. It means all time. All past. All future. As one eternal thread.

Learning is a process. Improvement is daily. 

For today, I find peace.

I open a game. A game I bought from the Holiday sale last December. I laughed. I messed up. I restarted the level with every crash and slam down. There is freedom in peace. There is wonder in love. 

Simplicity is mastery over the process. The complex sheds away as understanding is comprehension. Comprehension will stay with you forever. If you treasure your knowledge. Your suffering transformed into reality finally bending.

I know my Savior lives. Easter is close.

Potatoes are in the meal. Perhaps ham is also included. Yet as I remember His life. I remember to have joy. As I too shall live with my family. Forever.