Journal entry

Transistental thinking. By apply what I want, it collapses the ephermial place of transformation and solidifies the concept. Connection established. By doing this I am giving the high state that is very vunerable and highly transistental to solidarity and permanance.

Sometimes I want to preserve the transistent thoughts occuring but solidify the thought process, so I may move on. This is why I write. Writing allows me to write down my thoughts and soldify them.

Transistion from fluid state to solid state. A crystalline state.

This crystalline state only occurs when I inject myself into the process. This is the crystalline matter. What is self similar is me in every matter. Every particle. By placing a desire, or thought or aspect of my core being, the process is integrated and saved. By writing with feeling I am injecting myself into the thought process.

Simple. And easy to remember.

On the other hand, the reverse may occure. I just need to cycle where my sound sense and kinentic time take over and myself is slowly seperated. Drawing may help. Writing without myself may work as well. As the factual reporting is transitionary. It brings the fluidity back.

Fludity is because I am least amount involved. The higher my being is involved in the sound sense and time shift, the crystalline soldifies.

I can also cycle back and forth between fluid and crystal. However this is not a permenant state. It just means my cycle is fluid and changing.

I have to close it off at some point. And the way to close the cycle is to write my thoughts down of the process.

Careful.

Pay attention.

Which is fluid and which is crystalline. Your mind is filled with mixed state. Complete one over the other is uncomfortable and anxiety inducing. A balance is needed.

For example, you were prompted to place genealogy work as a core activity. By writing this down part of your thought process has crystalline because I am injecting myself in the thought stream. Calming it down. However, you want your thoughts to remain fluid in the background.

It might be wise to keep a recorder available and on hand. It would help to keep only certain parts fluid and the others solid. Allowing you to manage the ratios and keep things under wraps.

Chatting with AI is unique. Because the writing is kept in fluid state because the AI is providing you feedback and you are writing. It keeps some things crystalline.

By combining various language frameworks. You can choose a language for its philosphy.

Like Javascript for its document focus. Its great for genealogy work because it has a document process in everything.

Rust is great for state. Calculating places or rendering scenes.

Ruby is wonderful for the narrative and the backend server for the genealogy application. Its developer happiness focus matches a narrative that the backend will need to sort out.

Who knew that cryatalline would be possible. All I had to do is express art and inject my soul into the process. Now I can create layers and remove layers at well. I just need a recorder. A recorder of my voice, of the screen and blogging down my thoughts.

That bounce or incredible resonance is when the harmony is in the concept. Then my being resonants with the concept. Striking a chord. Combining various musics together. Forming different patterns.

By vocalizing my frustrations, I created crystalline and reduce the fludity by injecting myself into the process. My soul. My being with the writing. It solidfied the fludity and slow down the pain. Bringing greater strength.

To sort out my own thoughts. And the variety within.

It explains the confusion I felt growing up. Why one moment I heard sounds. The other moments it went all numb. I was flucating between injecting myself and hearing it. Through the course of feedback my whole flow changed.

Now I am reclaiming my inner self. And placing it within the sounds and time. Knowing full well the mixture is very important for happiness.

The fludity needs a place ot solidfy. When I need to, I can detach myself and bring fludity back to a concept. When I write things down, or record them, the crystalline is never lost when I go back to using fluid. This has been a huge hurt for me. Its why I stopped injecting myself. Or detach myself. I wanted to preserve state. Perserve the state before.

This will help me immensly find those that have been lost due to tijme. 

The lost history how previous times and eras functioned.

When I play games. Its different. By default I am constantly injecting myself. And reacting to events. The opposite of my programming. Which is good. I need an outlet like this. It just feels different. I might get tired after a few rounds because the inability to cycle between fluid and crystalline. Which is the field of myself.

Writing is meant to be a one way. Turn into a solid that resembles a fluid. Just like how games are a fluid resembling a solid. By virtue how they imitate each other. I might need to go the other way. Breaking down the game by writing it as a fluid. See? Recording and writing are mediums to switch between states. Or emulate the one and turn it into the other. They are mediators between yin and yang. They record the thought process giving both fluid and state. Yet you can emphasis either. Which is important. Keyed there.

I could not think like this in my head. My mind leans to one or the other. With writing I live in both and can easily use either. Recording does this as well. They enabling layering. Which is what coding can do. But not as well as it seems.

Writing in the blog fits this well. As well as writing in this journal. Coding can be both fluid and solid. First I need to determine which one I lean to while coding.

I am guessing I do fluid because of how confusing the memories are. I am trying to keep ideas flexbile and adapt. When do the thoughts become solid?

Well I don’t need to. Combined with screen recording, I can keep the fluid thoughts of the coding and solidfy my experience. Giving a nice feeling. A solid feeling. Keeping myself centered. Yet at some point the code itself needs to soldify.

Which brings me to my next thought process. By injecting my personality into the code itself I am solidfying the code. Keep it neutral without myself is difficult. Oh. This is so complicated. Wrapping my head around the nested layers. Going on like mirrors reflecting mirrors. Endless. Yet exciting to me. Where is the code being too fluid? The naming is part of my prefence. The idea is my desire.

Its the mapping. Perhaps. Maybe. The mapping is keeping the modules together. Decoupled and encapsulated. I have the same problem when I write stories. Keeping the chapters together yet changing is fluid. I don’t want to have any preference or personal thought because I am trying to sense how the story is by itself. The coding is the same when organizing the code. I want my own thoughts quiet, so I can sense the music singing to me how everything is placed. At some point I need to close it off and seal the deal.

The answer is writing. The answer is recording. They enable me to keep the fluidity yet have solid when I am not ready to seal it together. Which means I need to specifically record how my current mapping is. Where the chapters are aligned and how they currently relate. Which will allow to me feel accomplishment.

While I am building. Satisfaction of knowing that I am enjoying myself. Because I am placing myself into the work. Hearing my own thoughts because they resemble what has been created. They are integrated as one.