Medium resonances

High compression. The real. The fake. The boundary between.

Finite gate. Compress the unlimited into the finite space. Integers, precision error with floats, boolean on and off. Composing and rotating. The anchor in a world of endless propagation. Endless self-similar patterns. Endless time. The finite symbols.

They hold you still. Not imprisoned. Not sugar coated brownies to spike you. Just ground zero. Feeling complete.

Symbols are finite. They are limited in scope, and they are meant to be together. When you align them in a pattern, or compose and smash them together, they radiate that possibility. A viewpoint will see something breathing. Alive. Characters seemingly real, because they represent something real.

I can take a pattern and endlessly see it grow, or follow a history and follow the trail back. I look at an object and patterns spike as information endlessly grows. I have to be careful to not do something too long, or my head will start heating up and the screaming and guitars will rock. Then within the clarinet sounds interrupt and mingle the rock. I will hear dancing. I will hear speeches. I will hear stars and planets. As every memory of them, seeing them, simulating their patterns will down the line explode. Then I melt down.

....... ______ ******* chaos ___098,,.l-+093lk3-_memories_----___facts__cy32cle21s

Too much sound.

When everything clears, and I am done crying, there is sweet silence. All is still. I can think again. 

How do I manage this?

Through the world of art. Of representation. A symbol. Down to the letter. From the start and into the ending. Symbols are not real, but they mean something.

Floats are used in mathematics, yet it is not infinitely precise. You can get a repeating digit forever, but the computer cannot contain it all. At least not natively. You can simulate fibonacci numbers by chaining structs or classes together. And then manually adding them. Or multiplying.

When it comes to many situations rounding decimal digits, or representing a value, is good enough.

Mediums are very important to me. How I write, what language I choose, the art style, expression, etc. They all have finite limitations.

By letting myself go, letting my natural inclinations work, I see clearly. Enough to take the next step. Language can express anything by following their rules. If I seek to create a game that has deeper implications, or manages something real, then the rules become greater not less. I do not manipulate systems. I do not defame or decry what it is. I honor the rules so well, and flow with them, flow with the patterns, that I can guide and transform data. Where games can be productive. Stories thought provoking. Games managing pain. Helping deal with trauma. Games connecting with a network. Connecting with interfaces.

Luigi mansion. I am playing that game. I never owned the game, but with the Switch I can play it.

The gamecube graphics are older. The mechanics simpler. Its age is finite. Yet within those limitations is a world. A vivid world. The rules honored.

Text adventure games. I have played a demo and read about them. They can pull someone into a space adventure game. Or dungeon. Or role playing. The limitation of text, its rules for building an interactive world can be infinitely invigorating and complex. By honing into the patterns and doing them well. Not changing. Not messing up. Just flowing with them.

Then harmonize before composing.

I see that with how my multi dimensional mind works it needs a virtual space. This space can hold it all through symbols.

By honoring my mind, and flowing with it, I can create immensely useful applications, tools. Art, virtual and storybound moments.

Life is beautiful.

I see infinite potential. Everyone steps in different origin stories. The way to grow is to honor oneself and accumulate changes. This is light.

I have taken many small steps recently. I feel more secure. More time, more effort. I hit roadblocks as well as connections.

Today I am understanding what mediums work well with me. These are key.

Code is perfect for me. Yet what to do with code? That is as important as the process itself. What am I making?

For me, a mind that fastforwards or rewinds, I see mirror within mirrors, the art needs a pretty strict pattern set. Or else my mind detects and gets a sour face.

I know when processes are inconsistent, both people and objects. I sense how well someone or something follows their pattern set. As someone who hones on this, the medium needs to be strict with the sub patterns. And the building needs to derive or add well to these processes. This is my emotional gift as well. 

Its great when its great. Not always am I well suited for a task. However, there is plenty in this world to explore and enjoy. Not one person fits the cookie cutter, or life is not a cookie cutter. There are thousands, millions, billions of varieties all with their own composition and rotations.